Recap

This year has been full of many things, especially for people who are not engaging with it in any meaningful way. Personally, I don’t attend events held outside of school in any capacity, as I don’t believe in doing more than you’re paid for, especially if you aren’t being paid. In a perfect world, I could insert a USB into the side of my head and have the knowledge the average person would gain from four years of highschool and only lose some knowledge of music, but unfortunately that time is at least two more years away and it’s still considered cringey to not like most forms of interaction; preventing me from ranting about it further. 

Why Me?

My favorite rebuttal to most forms of questioning from my parents as to what I was going to do with my life was that I hadn’t thought about it yet because I was still years away from being an adult. Unfortunately, next year I’ll be as close to being an adult as I’ll ever be before I eventually reach that stage and have to keep going. I know this is the case for other senior citizens as well who won’t be celebrating a 17th birthday, but instead an 18th or even becoming senile as they celebrate their 19th. In honor of this, I will grant the grizzled seniors of DHS and the teething babies as well. I believe that I’m best equipped to do this as I am infamously un-opinionated and am also a radical optimist. 

Shame

I did nothing in my freshman year aside from 75% of most assignments. Most of the year was essentially just me becoming accustomed to lingo that no real person uses, such as “hoco” and “freshie(s)”, which I assume were created by middle schoolers dreaming of what high school was like in the 1950s. The year also had a significant emphasis on the high part, as I often would see some things in broad daylight that would have most people put into substance abuse rehab for how desperate it was. I’m very lucky when it came to ever even think about doing similar things, as I refuse to do something that I might find embarrassing seconds after I’ve done it, which I believe most people should follow when tempted by the prospect of sucking on batteries or smelling like burning plants in school, especially first period. 

Doing Nothing

When I say this within the context of school, I mean it socially. Grade-wise, I’m pretty much only ever in danger of failing in one or two classes, and usually only one matters. Personally, I spend my free time during lunch sitting in secluded corners and am forced to always be watching one couple making audible affection, which is probably one of the worst experiences someone can experience in high school due to the genuinely skin crawling noises that radiate from people who won’t be together by the end of the week. Another fun past-time is listening to music constantly to avoid falling asleep while listening to lessons that could’ve been summarized in two sentences or less. However, this activity can only be done correctly by listening to the music with earphones and keeping the era of the music consistent (i.e. no Shades of Cool to Anyone Who Knows What Love Is, despite their shared 10/10 rating). 

Time Theft

While the year prior consisted of doing nothing, this year consisted of mostly doing nothing while acting like I was doing anything. At the very least I still managed to pass all my core classes, which is all I aim for; which I don’t think was the case for well over half of all sophomores anywhere. Luckily, however, I discovered that there was only one difference between sophomore year and junior year: doing nothing will only partially have consequences until the end of the year, where my grades are somehow still fine, despite my only using about twenty percent of my brain at any point in time. Now, I don’t encourage not doing anything your entire school year, as not everyone is as proficient at not doing anything the way I am, but I also denounce cheating. If you have to have a robot spoon-feed you a homework assignment, just don’t do it at that point; it’d be less shameful and, quite frankly, makes it harder to be made fun of by people who think AI makes you dumber, which is most people. 

Longtime

As of the writing of this, not a whole lot has changed between freshman and junior year besides age. Generally speaking, the teachers are all of a consistent quality (take that as a positive or negative, it’s both) and the only thing that gets harder to deal with is the expanding blockades of friend groups slowing down hallway traffic. Along with that, being a loner is still socially acceptable as long as you never mention it to anyone, which turns you into a fraud for speaking to someone who isn’t a therapist about it. Most of the time spent in high school is mostly just things you’ll probably need but won’t remember much, events that looked much cooler in media with 30-year old highschool students, and then graduation, which you’re not allowed to say is boring and kind of uncomfortable because it’s always hot outside by that time. On the upside, you can think about summer during the last half of May and then remember why it’s horrible, too long to endure constantly, and only enjoyable for maybe the first week. 

Brief Final Thoughts

Every year, you’ll also do something so embarrassing that it will haunt you until you’re on your deathbed, and for me that was wasting a lot of time in therapy during my freshman year by never talking, as I now count the days down to every appointment like it’s Christmas, which it unironically basically is for me in terms of gratification. To clarify, I’m not insanely depressed, just talkative around people I like, which is why I’m basically mute. 

Music Recommendations to People Doing Nothing:

Fiona Apple – Tidal (or her entire discography, this one has the widest appeal)

Roy Orbison – In Dreams (both the song and the album, though it’s mostly skippable)

Cocteau Twins – Every single song they have

ABBA – It’s ABBA? Self-explanatory.